Action Movie One Liners

20 June 2015

When you're the hero of an action movie, you're going to find yourself killing — or at least subduing — people in increasingly novel ways. And you can't do that unless you find a clever way to punctuate it.

So what should you say if you ever have to stab a bad guy in the throat with a paper clip?

I'm glad you asked, because I've compiled a list.

7 Things to Say in an Action Movie when Offing a Guy with a Paper Clip to the Throat

1. “Get clipped!”
2. “Don't get bent out of shape.”
3. “Keep it together.”
4. Johnny Carson voice. “Uh, I believe we have a clip. Is that right?”
5. Back to basics: “Get bent!”
6. “Don't get too attached.”
7. “Didn't you get the memo?”

Special Bonus Zinger: If the bad guy works for the IT department

• “Oh, I'm sorry. Does your throat hurt? TRY TURNING IT OFF AND BACK ON AGAIN!”

Please keep this list in mind, and don't embarrass yourself by trying to improvise.