While focusing on JavaScript to level up my web dev skills over the last several months, I’ve waged a silent war in my head over how everyone else seems to pronounce certain things.

Well, here at last is my declaration, and I will countenance no disagreement and no appeals to sensible arguments or respected authorities.

• var rhymes with bear, not bar

• tuts rhymes with boots, not butts
• JSON sounds like Jason, not Khe Sanh

• in regex/regexp, reg rhymes with leg, not ledge
• names ending in -ify are consciously and playfully improper. They do not follow normal accentuation rules (i.e., not like PERson to perSONify). Browserify is BROWSer-ify, not brow-ZER-ify. JSONify is JASon-ify, not jay-SAHN-ify
• jQuery is like, “Hey, Siri,” not “Hey, Jerry”

• favicon is a “fave icon” and does not sound like “have a naan” (but don’t mind if I do)
• SQL and its derivatives are cooler pronounced “sequel” rather than “ess queue el”

I know it may be difficult to break those habits, but change can happen. After decades on the wrong side of two bitter fights I finally own a Mac and pronounce gif with a soft G.

And so can you!