You're Saying It Wrong

While focusing on JavaScript to level up my web dev skills over the last several months, I’ve waged a silent war in my head over how everyone else seems to pronounce certain things.

Well, here at last is my declaration, and I will countenance no disagreement and no appeals to sensible arguments or respected authorities.

  • var rhymes with bear, not bar
Baloo and Mowgli dancing in Disney's Jungle Book during the musical number the Bear Necessities.
var bear = true, bar = false;
  • tuts rhymes with boots, not butts
  • JSON sounds like Jason, not Khe Sanh
Jason from the Friday the 13th horror franchise sitting on a bed in a weed infested cabin, casually holding a macheteand looking into the camera.
Okay, let’s parse this …
  • in regex/regexp, reg rhymes with leg, not ledge
  • names ending in -ify are consciously and playfully improper. They do not follow normal accentuation rules (i.e., not like PERson to perSONify). Browserify is BROWSer-ify, not brow-ZER-ify. JSONify is JASon-ify, not jay-SAHN-ify
  • jQuery is like, “Hey, Siri,” not “Hey, Jerry”
Jerry Smith from the cartoon Rick and Morty sits at his dining room table playing a game on an iPad.
Hey, Jerry: get a job!
  • favicon is a “fave icon” and does not sound like “have a naan” (but don’t mind if I do)
  • SQL and its derivatives are cooler pronounced “sequel” rather than “ess queue el”

I know it may be difficult to break those habits, but change can happen. After decades on the wrong side of two bitter fights I finally own a Mac and pronounce gif with a soft G.

Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck continuosly tear signs from a tree revealing news signs that say duck season, rabbit season, duck season rabbit season, and so on.

And so can you!